The hustle and bustle of the year (finally) began this week. Took me a while to finally get in the mood for Christmas, I'm still not completely convinced that I am even there, but I am determined to make it special for my two sweet boys.
It's easy to get into a pity party, waaah my husband is gone, I don't want to celebrate... Although it stinks big time, there are many more Holidays to spend together.. I know it will make next year, and the year after that even more special. Truth is, Christmas isn't for MY enjoyment. I read this this morning and had to share...
"Jesus still came. Jesus still comes. In the midst of our brightest shining moments or in the midst of the darkest pain, Jesus comes. Do the carols that once brought joy to your heart bring tears to your eyes this season? Wherever Christmas finds you, Jesus still comes. And because He came, your pain is not in vain. Nor is it the end of your story."
Presents are wrapped. Car is being packed for our week up at my Parent's. Cayden is thrilled as all can about opening presents.
It was the night before Christmas, when all through the abode
Only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode.
The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds,
While visions of Nintendo and Barbie, flipped through t...heir heads.
The dad was snoring in front of the TV,
With a half-constructed bicycle on his knee.
So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter,
Which made her sigh, "Now what's the matter?"
With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand,
She descended the stairs, and saw the old man.
He was covered with ashes and soot, which fell with a shrug.
"Oh great!!" muttered the mom, "Now I have to clean the rug."
"Ho-Ho-Ho!!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake.
Your gift was especially difficult to make."
"Thanks, Santa, but all I want is some time alone."
"Exactly!!" he chuckled, "I've made you a clone."
"A clone?" she asked, "What good is that?
Run along, Santa. I've no time for chit-chat."
It was the mother's twin.
Same hair, same eyes, same double chin.
She'll cook, she'll dust, she'll mop every mess.
You'll relax, take it easy, watch the Young and the Restless."
"Fantastic!!" the mom cheered. "My dream come true!
I'll shop. I'll read. I'll sleep a whole night through!"
From the room above, the youngest began to fret.
"Mommy?!? I'm scared, and I'm wet."
The clone replied, "I'm coming, sweetheart."
"Hey," the mom smiled, "She knows her part."
The clone changed the small one, and hummed a tune,
As she bundled the child, in a blanket cocoon.
"You're the best mommy ever. I really love you."
The clone smiled and sighed, "I love you, too."
The mom frowned and said, "Sorry, Santa, no deal.
That's my child's love that she's trying to steal."
Smiling wisely Santa said, "To me it is clear,
Only one loving mother is needed here."
The mom kissed her child, and tucked her into bed.
"Thank you, Santa, for clearing my head.
I sometimes forget it won't be very long,
When they'll be too old, for my cradle-song."
The clock on the mantle began to chime.
Santa whispered to the clone, "It works every time."
I took Cayden to the Ymca to swim yesterday and let me just say, if I could bottle those giggles up to listen to whenever I please, I am positive I would have a long and happy life.
He is three now, and I have decided that three is more work than two. He has now decided that he likes the word NO (took three years, I guess I shouldn't complain too much), must snap his own car seat every single time, must pour his own cereal in the morning regardless if he eats it or not, doesn't enjoy washing his hands after he uses the bathroom, and hates to help me pick up toys. Truth is, his little personality pops out a little more every single day and I would not trade this stage for anything. He is a character! He thinks "toots" are hysterical. He loves building with Legos and I adore listening to him talk to them. He is obsessed with Toy Story and his Papa.
He breaks my heart every single day- I am not completely sure he understands why Daddy has been gone for so long. We talk about it a lot and although we are over the initial adjustment of that, he still asks if Daddy is on his way home yet. He thinks when he hears a car pull up that it's Daddy. He loves to talk to Daddy on the computer, and enjoys making lots and lots of plans for when "Daddy comes home".
I do know that even on the toughest of days, this little guy can light up my world. Oh, Darlin' don't you ever grow up, ever grow up, just stay this little...
Let me introduce you to the new man in my life...
Asher made his appearance two weeks early as a healthy 7lb 13.5oz big boy!
I thought I was suffering from a stomachache for the day, thinking nothing of it. As I sat at a Scentsy party, it seemed that my stomachache was getting worse. I called my Mom as I left, eager to head to the nearest Arby's drive-thru. My smart Mother said, "Maybe you should time this stomachache?".. I quickly hung up, waiting for the next stomachache to hit. Almost 40 seconds long, 5 minutes since the last one. I called Mom back, who was in the middle of a date with my Dad.. "Maybe you should just be on call tonight?"
Cayden and I headed home to eat our roast beef sandwiches. Drink some water. Relax!
Then, called my Mom back.. Ugh, I think this may be it? But I'm going to feel really stupid if you come down and it's nothing! My mom lives about an hour and 40 minutes away. My SIL saved the day and also said she would head down in case we needed someone to hang out with Cayden, you know.. Just in case?
They both showed up after Cayden was bathed and sound asleep in bed.. Time was now close to 9:30pm Friday night. I jumped in the shower real quick.. Made sure everything was packed.. Oh yeah, had to pay a few bills online before they were late (it was the 1st of the month afterall!).
This indeed was not a stomachache, but labor. In my defense, I suffer from back labor, so it was more in my behind (ah hem) than uterus (I'll spare you).
At this point, my cramps are now close to 2.5 minutes apart. Perhaps we should head to the hospital now?
They hook me up and determine I am 4cm, 100% effaced. Woo hoo, I was admitted!
Once I am clothed in the adorning way-too-thin-hospital gown, in comes anesthesiologist (halleluia!). At this point, I still feel ok.. So tell her to come back in an hour or so. She gives me a not so certain look and it's then I realize it's now or never. My "strong" Mother-slash-birth-coach holds onto me tightly, until we deem that she is not so into needles and "weird hospital smells". Good distraction from the 4inch needle now residing in my spine.
As it did with Cayden's birth, the medicine is pumped in, and my heartrate drops. My nurse yells out in the hall that she needs help, in comes 2 doctors and 3 more nurses. It is still a little blurry to me, but I know even with no feeling to my legs, I was using all my might to flip from side to side. Asher was in distress for what felt like 10 minutes, but I am not really sure how long it was. All I know is not hearing that beeping noise on the machines was terrifying. I just kept cheering him on. Come on, Asher... Come on buddy.
Praise God, they found a spot he likes and now his heartrate is back to normal. You could bet that I was not about to move from that spot he liked. No way.
The epidural was now already wearing off, and my dear anesthesiologist was off with someone else in an emergency c-section. At this point I needed to roll on my other side, while gripping my bed in agony. In comes the doctor on call for the night, Major Morgan. She checks me, and as she does I have the worst contraction yet, to which she calls out; "We're having a baby!".
Some where during this contraction, my Mom sets the camcorder in the corner on record, anesthelogist pumps some more medicine in my catheter, the bed cuts in half, bright lights are shone, and I am indeed having a baby...
Three pushes, that was it! I pushed for three hours with Cayden.. This is cake! 2:23am. October 2nd.
They hand me my new love... He is quite purple and not crying, I kiss him really fast before he is wisked off to the NICU.
Finally around 4am, they bring him in. They say he had a lot of fluid in his lungs and stomach, but made a fast recovery. No one prepares you for that feeling you feel when you first meet your child-- the one you have cherished and loved on for the last 9 months, meeting them in the flesh.
Asher is now 2.5 months. Daddy will be home next month to meet him.
He is such a sweet baby.. He loves nothing more than snuggling up to your neck. His smile is perfect. He is finally starting to sleep a bit more in the night. I'll save the whole adjustment to two on my own in another post.
Tis' the middle of December, and all through the Jones house, all the creatures were stirring, even the mouse (that I am positive resides down in the crawl space). Toy Story 3 was singing, the heater was purring, the dryer was humming, even the dog was snoring.. The Littlest sits patiently, adoring his Momma, as the Elder quotes Mister Doctor Evil Porkchop with a huge grin on his face. The Momma eats a piece of chocolate, sipping her tea, looking over the babies, making sure all is well and tummies are full.. Snow quietly falls outside the window where the Christmas tree glows. The Daddy sleeps soundly too far from home, in his room made of plywood- snuggled in blankets, dreaming of the day when life is back to normal.
No where to be, not much to be done..
I am so beyond blessed to live the life I live! I married my high school sweetheart on December 30th, 2006. He is one hunk of a Soldier in the U.S. Army, and is so great to me despite anything else going on in the world, it's hard to believe he's all mine! I am the world's most proud Mommy (hands down!) to the world's sweetest and most adorable little boys ever. I never knew so much love was possible!
These are my ramblings as an Army family and SAHM trying to find the joy in my everyday journey.